Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize