No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize