I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize