oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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