the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
