tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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