On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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