someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
