Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to walk on stilts...naked
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
