Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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