I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
