Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
