Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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