laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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