she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
