you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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