OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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