Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
