were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
