I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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