Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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