I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
