ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
