it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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