About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
