the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
