Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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