im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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