Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
