Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's like heaven, but drunker
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
