none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I wear drunk well.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
