the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
