nut hugger
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
