Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you will always have a special place in my vag
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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