About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
