I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
