how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
