I can tuck mytits in my pants
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
