He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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