her vagine was all disorganized.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
