Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
