Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
