im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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