They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
