it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
