marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
