I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
