where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
