it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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