Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
COCAINE IS GR8
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
