An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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