Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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