I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
