3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
