i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
