This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize