420 ftw
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
