Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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