Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
