That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
