i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
