there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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