Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize